Execute The Process

Not knowing what to write this morning, I ended up writing a private journal of just over 500 words.

It’s now 5:49 am and I’m listening to Portishead’s song “All Mine.”

It’s one of those James Bond-ey kind of songs.

Hmmm, I’m more blank than usual.

Fuck it.

Let’s talk about motion and state.

This morning, again I woke up with a head cloudy as fuck (just like I did yesterday).

In the past, I’d get frustrated over being in these states.

You forget about your goals.

You feel pessimistic.

It sucks.

The funny thing is though, two days back, my will power was depleted by around 4 pm from doing lots of brain work.

Yesterday noon, my brain was still “on” until I went to bed.

From the noon onwards yesterday, I was feeling more “charged” and wondered what the cause might be.

I suspected adding 8 different spices to my rice helped.

But that’s some confirmation bias right there.

It’s probably a combination.

· Exercise

· Meditation

· Water

· Cleaner diet

Etc.

But, yesterday morning started just like this one. Haziness for the first two hours.

So what did I do about it?

I “executed the process.”

I’ve got a set of personal and work habits for my day that I’ve put in a time table.

My job is to try simply do them at the set times.

Now, being a freedom-loving person, this shit is hard. I’m getting better at it though.

The outcomes are worth it.

So instead of dwelling on the negative state, I simply did my sequence of actions.

By midday I’d forgotten I was even in some weird haze.

(Okay, now I’m getting into the groove of writing).

Years ago I wondered how the fitness personality, Elliot Hulse was able to do what he said in one of his videos.

I wondered if I’d ever be able to replicate that philosophy.

I wasn’t as clear about what I want to do with my future back then, and I was focusing on all my fails so I didn’t have much buy-in for myself.

What did he say that intrigued me?

Something along the lines of, when you’re going towards a goal you must be like a machine; you

have a task to do. You go and physically do it. There’s no mulling about your states or emotions or

whatever.

I’m curious to see how I’ll be later tonight.

Until next time.

-Thomas Lekhanya.

P.S. I haven’t been reading as much fiction lately and I’m feeling like I’m losing that “sense”, that

creative writing flow that I enjoy. I’ve mainly been reading advertising stuff. I must remember to

keep fiction as part of my daily reading.

P.P.S. Yes yes, I did draw yesterday. I was annoyed at my initial drawings…there was a lot of erasing this time round, but yeah I got something in the end. I wonder whether I’ll keep this habit at the end of this 30 day challenge or not. Here it is.