Man’s Best Friend, Except For…

Here’s a challenge, sort of the like the Amazing Race with a smaller prizes(yet more pleasing to the taste buds) prizes at stake.

Go to any black South African neighbourhood and find me a single poster for a missing dog or cat.

Succeed and I’ll hook you up with you ten Fizz Pops and a red can of Pringles.

Will you get the prizes?

Hellls noooo!

I remember, this interesting time while cruising on the high way with some white friends.

“I would kill them dawg. Straight,” one stated.

“Haha no way…bruh, are you serious? You’d kill someone, a human, over a dog??” I said now leaning forward from my back seat.

“Bru, I love my dogs. I would straight up kill someone,” he said in the straight forward way of someone telling you what eight plus two is.

(It’s ten).

I turned to look out the window at the blurring field wondering what I would do.

Nah, kill someone…over an animal? Not me.

His relation to animals fascinated me.

But I then remembered…white people fucking love pets!

It’s interesting how, we’re individuals yet at the same time we can share many traits with large groups of people similar to us.

Okay, are you ready for another challenge.

This time, I’ll give you twenty Fizz Pops and two red cans of Pringles if you can find black South Africans who sleep with their dogs.

Ha!

Good luck!!!

We don’t even kiss them.

We don’t even give them a (potentially-parasite-transferring) kiss.

Okay, here’s the last one, are you ready?

This time, in addition to twenty Fizz Pops and a red can of Pringles…I’ll ALSO bless your life with five Twinkies and five fat cakes…

Just find me any dogs in black areas that aren’t named after one of the following names:

(I’ve organized the list from least to most dangerous)

1. Spotty

2. Bobby

3. Brown (who, in one episode of walking out at night at my aunt’s house in Soweto jumped and bit my ten-year-old self on the back — okay, maybe he didn’t bite me but still — because apparently he was unchained at night for his security guard shift.)

4. Bova and my favourite

5. DANGER (who’s demeanour usually matches the name)

Dude, with just ONE hand and you’re good to count the full spectrum of possible dog names!!!

HAAAAAAA!!!!

What about them white folks?

Anyway, I found this observation interesting because of how it relates to marketing and how it’s easy to make mistakes marketing to people without considering psychographics and behaviours.

In an agency I worked in, we had a software to measure and segment audiences using a demographics (and a few surface level psychographics )which were collected from surveys to guide us on media selection.

So, say I had a tampon campaign (I never did), I’d be able to measure and buy ad space on which ever media (TV, radio and print etc.) had the largest cluster of our target audience, being females.

(…and cage fighters for nose bleeds, In a way, right? Or chicken farmers because…wait listen before you call me crazy… take a look at what Woolworths puts inside their chickens. Have you seen it what it is? Have you??? Well I have. Check it out next time and you’ll understand.)

But what if…

Okay I don’t know where I’m going with this.

My writing time is up and, to avoid parking this piece of writing away to “edit in the future” (which doesn’t happen) I’m going to post it this way now. In the future I’ll force myself to finish the thought in the time allocated.

Until next time

Thomas Lekhanya

P.S. I’m not a Woolies ambassador.

Copywriter | Internet Advertiser | JHB, South Africa