Rut Awareness and Action Plan

Hey what’s up.

I’m listening “Livin It Up” by Limp Bizkit…

From the album “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”

The album including a song that has the word “fuck” over 46 times (and proudly proclaims so in the said song)…

The album that was my first I ever got back when I was in first grade and took a listen to it in a music store and gave my parents the thumbs up.

Anyway, the song title is a contrast to the mental state I’m in right now this morning.

I’m feeling physically and mentally cranky, pessimistic etc.

It was a struggle to write the “practice” copy before writing this piece of writing.

I made a note on paper to make a list of things I’ll make as a standard of what I’ll tolerate eating and doing in general.

Lately, I’ve been eating scones here and indulging in too many online and social media addictive behaviour lately… I don’t like myself for doing so with no discipline.

I suspect a strong reason I feel shit and am doing these things is because of my neediness around having one source of income at the moment from my one client.

I’ve still got my one digital marketing client and having my payment delayed recently made me reactive. They’re a good client but shit happens.

This is a horrible place to be in life. I was watching a powerful video by Owen Cook recently which touches on this concept, “Having your eggs all in one basket”.

It’s basically about the importance of having options in life.

I decided this week that instead of waiting to be “perfect enough” in my copywriting chops.

I’ll pitch clients anyway, because I know I’ve got the skills and the knowledge it’s just the mental and emotional blocks of “am I really good enough yet though?” which are blocking me.

This is connected to past scars of failing in my writing business and other ventures.

Fuck that shit.

So, back to the shitty state, what can I do to remove this?

The good things I already do include:

Meditation…Running…Bodyweight exercising…Stretching…Reading…Studying (copywriting and advertising daily)….Handling stress by doing my priority work in the morning (writing work) etc.

Okay so what can I update this with?

Diet — Ensure I know exactly what I’m eating every day (including lots of vegetables)to help fight those cravings for scones and cookies.

I hate the way I feel when I give in to these cravings, I can see how it’s exactly the same as a meth addict. The guilt and slight deflation of self-esteem is fucking horrible. I need to handle this.

Work — Organize the list of leads I’ve gathered so far and just start my cold-emailing campaign for writing clients and follow-up like a mofo.

Body — Start lifting weights again. A part of me is apprehensive about the time investment of travelling all the way to the gym and back. So I’ll do 15 minute research on building my own weights at home. Decide the budget and just build the damn things.

All I really need is to do the main compound exercises, Deadlift, Dumbell Press, Squat and everything else, Rows, Overhead Press, is extra.

Yeah these are my thoughts for today.

I’ve been feeling a rut state these past couple weeks.

The financial stress has been a big cause for it.

I’ve got the skills, I just need to overcome this mental hurdle through specific small actions instead of endlessly preparing.

Oh and one last thing, I’m going to make a list of “dos and don’ts” for myself. i.e. I’m not allowed to go to bed after X time daily…

I’m not allowed to eat any scones or cookies unless it’s something I planned 1hr in advance and on the last Sunday of the month. And even so, I must limit it to 5, but not all in one sitting! Something along these lines.

I need to make these rules more black or white for myself. I’ll test this and review it end of the first two weeks of October.

Until next time

Thomas Lekhanya

P.S. Day 10 of the create anything daily challenge….I did make one. But not something I’m proud of. I was feeling a day-long headache, and thus procrastinated until at night to create the video. It was disorganized. But hey, I’m human. Shit happens. I took action though.

P.P.S Day 24 of 30 Drawing challenge. Same here. I forgot about the drawing, got out of bed rushed something and went back to sleep.